Messy Friend

If you are eating with a friend, and he gets a huge string of cheese hanging from his beard, or some mustard streaked across his cheek, or a big black thing in his teeth, do not pretend that it is not there and let him chit chat and smile at you and everyone around him completely oblivious. Eventually he will look in a mirror, discover his new addition, wonder why you didn’t tell him, and ultimately think that you are a huge douche.